I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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