Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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