you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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