It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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