Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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