Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
