he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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