What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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