Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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