He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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