Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
