he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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