thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
