Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
