I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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