where does the pee come out of this thing
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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