Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
