I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
