You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
