my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Pooping to opera.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
