Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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