think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
