I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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