you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
