so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
