At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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