my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
