I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
