Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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