I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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