Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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