Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
