I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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