My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We got so high we made milksteak
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
