you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
