I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
