Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
