You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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