Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
