am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize