i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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