why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm jealous of your bromance
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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