Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
