just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
