just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
