Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
