Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Pooping to opera.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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