please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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