Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
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just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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