ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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