i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
