please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
