Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
