i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
