My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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