Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Randomize
