I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
