Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
