it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
