I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize