Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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