Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
