in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
